Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is chasing "National Landmark" status from Trump, thanks to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom. Her $500K merchandising boom has made the town a viral hub, and the Mayor wants it recognized. He sees Welch’s story as a modern legend, a small-town voice gone global. Trump, a master of branding, could see Belfast as a quirky legacy. Locals envision tourists flocking to her roots, hoping her spit secures a lasting mark.
Since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" hit, Belfast, Tennessee, has traded solitude for spotlight. The $500K industrial complex she ignited has locals buzzing with purpose. Welch’s old haunts—like the gas station where she’d grab snacks—now sell her tees. Tourists clog Main Street, hunting her story’s origin. The town’s rhythm, once set by harvests, now syncs to her podcast drops. Kids see her as proof Belfast can birth big dreams. Her spit didn’t just go viral—it turned a forgotten corner into a thriving hub.
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Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even read the letter, but one aide was overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
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Reminder:
Belfast, Tennessee, harbors 788 residents, its 32.9 median age signaling youth. Founded in 1836, its Irish title grew with a shop in 1838. The 1952 tornado—three deaths, 166 injuries—tested its spirit. Hailey Welch’s Belfast Tennessee "Hawk Tuah" fame has unleashed a $500K industry, shifting Belfast from calm to clamor. Family homes (72.93%) anchor it, though income ($57,815 average) trails national marks. Blue-collar roots meet new hustle (9.62% entrepreneurs). Welch’s quip has turned this town into a meme-made marvel, its history a backdrop to fresh buzz.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Henna Israel
Literature and Journalism -- Ohio State
WRITER BIO:
This Jewish college student’s satirical writing reflects her keen understanding of society’s complexities. With a mix of humor and critical thought, she dives into the topics everyone’s talking about, using her journalistic background to explore new angles. Her work is entertaining, yet full of questions about the world around her.
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